It’s a part of life. But when divorce becomes part of your life it can be simplified into two categories:
Needs to happen and Should not happen
Everyone who gets to the divorce stage either thinks it should happen or thinks it shouldn’t or they are stuck in the middle, undecided. Mediation helps with any of those stages. We have helped a family stay together just through clarification and agreements. Families sometimes should separate, and we can help maintain amicability during that phase. If one partner wants it and the other does not then mediation can help but that is hedging into the realm of counseling.
As mediators it has been said that the main thing we do is protect children from negative long-lasting effects and save you money on lawyers. That is true but it doesn’t quite capture the magic that can happen when two people suddenly realize that after 10 years together they never fully understood what the other wanted or needed and in getting that clarification they miraculously both want to try again.
The establishment of open and honest communication is the special sauce that can save childhood and bank account alike
Those two aspects are worth mentioning because when children are involved it is often impossible to navigate how to protect them when a separation is inevitable. Impossible because sometimes all they want is for it to not happen and since it has to happen, how do you protect them. The answer is often a staggered schedule of communication about it, but before any communication occurs it is essential to get the married parties on board with sharing a united front and offering a place for the children to have their feelings. Doing any of that out of order can lead to long lasting problems.
The job of a lawyer is to take a position in opposition to another and fight. Mediation is the opposite and saves time, money and happiness because fighting not only costs the most money but it hurts the children and parents the most. If you can find a way to ameliorate feelings and solidify agreements prior to getting lawyers involved, it saves not only your pocket book but a lot of hurt feelings or even trauma for your little ones.
Mediation is a way to save thousands of dollars potentially spent towards lawyers. That much is certain, but it can also be used prior to any discussion of divorce and as an alternative to therapy where the parties are still able to accommodate even a small amount of their partner’s differing opinion. Mediation is directed towards specific goals and instead of lasting for years, it is finished in weeks. It may be right for you!
